Why is it that only women try to improve their marriage? (2)

Posted: 26 days ago | In: Relationship, Spiritual Intelligence

Continuing from the last post, we saw reasons why many men don’t see the need to improve their relationship. We also understood that it’s not effective for a woman to go head to head with her husband trying to change him by force. It is better to develop strategies and deal with each negative or complacent attitude.

Obviously, before you develop a proper strategy, identify which of the six situations, mentioned in the last post, you are trying to overcome. Then you will know what attitudes to take. Let’s consider each attitude and explore the options to know how to deal with them. Basically, you have to learn to think a little bit like a man. (Notice: some of the advice might hurt. But if you practice it, you will solve the problem.) So let’s go:

1^st SITUATION: Women tend to be more demanding than men; that is why they complain more. Men tend to complain only when their most basic needs are not being met.

Let’s be honest: except for rare exceptions, it’s easier to make a man happy than a woman. Don’t get me wrong ladies. It’s just a fact. Men are simpler, they’re satisfied with little, and they don’t usually see details or little problems. What to her seems like a huge problem to him is something silly. That’s where women start to lose because they are not able to make a man understand that there is a problem.

What to do?

First of all, reduce your demands and complaints for the small things. Learn to be selective of the arguments you get into (hint: the majority aren’t worth it.) When you complain a lot and are too demanding (also known as bossy,) in time your husband will start to tune out what you say and will turn his focus from you to other more interesting things. He will start to think of you as an ungrateful and annoying woman. In other words, you shoot yourself in the foot when you complain.

I agree with Andy Rooney when he says:

For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

Please note: through this text, I’m not trying to say that you should be satisfied with a marriage on the rocks or a problematic life. But that you should learn to celebrate the little things, recognize what’s good between the two of you, don’t feed your frustrations with idealistic comparisons or overwhelm your partner with demands.

This will generate more happiness and less tension between the two of you. And, in this setting you’ve created, you can stimulate your husband to become better as you want.

In the next post, we will explore the options for situations 2 and 3 of the previous post. They will require a bit more courage Rosilda.

 From www.renatocardoso.com